Every day I work with people, wonderful amazing people, who want something in their life to be different. In all of my experience with counseling, coaching or training others, I have never said to a client, “Don’t make any changes in your choices or how you interact with the world and the changes you want in your life will just happen”. NEVER! None of us are without imperfections and most of us desire improvement in some aspect of our existence, having goals for the betterment of our life experience. We know by common sense that to reach our goals and make improvements in our lives we need to DO something. How many times do you WANT to DO something and how many times is that as far as you get? WANTING to do something.
Change is hard. Life is a series of choices and we tend to make the same choices over and over. Even if those choices create difficult consequences, we tend to choose what is familiar, known, comfortable. It is difficult to make new choices which have unpredictable outcomes and a potential of failure. We are creatures of habit and we choose what we know. We choose to be comfortable rather than face the unexpected. This is understandable, but with predictability comes more of the same which gets frustrating! We make the same choices as always, get the same outcome as always and continue to want something different to happen. It is hard to create change because it takes some amount of courage and ability to deal with temporary discomfort. The brilliant Brené Brown says, “choose courage over comfort”. This is easier to say and hear than to actually practice. Biologically speaking, we are programmed to choose the familiar in order to survive. Thousands of years ago, if humans went around eating new things that they were unsure of and venturing into places that were scary, their chances of survival would have been less then great. That is the tough news, that we are programmed to choose the familiar. The good news is that we are smarter than our primal animal brain and have the ability to override those predisposed reactions if we choose to.
Take a minute to think about the changes that you have been wanting in your life but shift the focus. Don’t focus on what changes you want to see, focus on the changes you are going to make! If you don’t know how, then learn, acquire information, ask for help and support. Be very real with yourself about your intentions. Changes happen in single step increments. Choose your path, see your path, and start walking down it. Focus on the first step. After you take the first step then focus on the next and so on. Change is overwhelming when we look 10 steps ahead but we can generally be successful when we take things one step at a time. If you are nervous, that’s okay! You will gain confidence on the way. Where are you going to start? You’ve got this! Good luck with your journey.
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